Below is a sample activity to run as a class to test the curriculum. The intent is to create a guided discussion between students, and then to break down preconceived notions of sexual abuse. The instructors role is to make sure the discussion stays on course, and that students use rational and logical arguments during the discourse. Once the discussion has winded down, the instructor will present the most moral and ethical statement, along with dispelling unhealthy beliefs and providing background information:
Is it abuse?
Steps:
Have the instructor move the students into a circle, socratic seminar style. Establish rules for who can talk when (raised hands, etc). Then present these scenarios to the student's and have them discuss to determine whether or not they are sexual abuse/abusive. Feel free to make changes and help the student's along in their discussions if they are stuck by playing devils advocate. After solidified opinions are formed between students, reveal the true statements.
1. You are 16, in a relationship and your partner is a little over a year older than you. At one point in your relationship, you are still (barely) 16 while your partner has just turned 18. The state law says that the age of consent is 17, but you and your partner engage in consensual sexual acts anyways, in fact, you may even have initiated them. Is it abuse?
Answer: In many states, there are clauses to prevent cases such as this one to truly punish the participants, reducing the acts to misdemeanors, or excluding situations where the age difference is very close. However, may states do not have these clauses, for the purpose that under their age of consent, a person may not be old enough to make this judgement on their own (they physically cannot consent), and therefore this situation would technically be sexual abuse.
Why is this important? If a person is too young to consent, then they might not be ready to make those choices, and coercion into these acts by someone older is certainly an act of abuse. Essentially it's considered taking advantage of teenage maturity and hormones. People mature at different rates and it's always important to respect that, so while the age of consent is just a guideline, it is a pretty rigid one.
2. You are at a party in college. You decide to stay sober that night, but you notice a friend who has been drinking has begun flirting with you. They are tipsy but you presume they are levelheaded enough to understand the situation. You first ask if they would like to kiss, to which they reply "yes". You begin to make a few more moves without any noticeable resistance, but in the morning they cannot remember much of what happened. Is it abuse?
Answer: Yes. This is abuse for a few reasons. The first of which being that you likely took advantage of someone with alcohol in their system, especially if they couldn't remember what happened. Secondly, and very importantly, consent of a single act does not account for all acts, and consent must be asked for every step of the way. Abuse is still abuse, regardless of if the victim consciously remembers it.
Why is this important? There is a significant amount of stress and trauma that goes around sexual abuse/assault, and due to this, it's always important to be as safe and clear as possible. Not asking and not knowing are the same as a straight-out no.
Answer: Yes. This is abuse for a few reasons. The first of which being that you likely took advantage of someone with alcohol in their system, especially if they couldn't remember what happened. Secondly, and very importantly, consent of a single act does not account for all acts, and consent must be asked for every step of the way. Abuse is still abuse, regardless of if the victim consciously remembers it.
Why is this important? There is a significant amount of stress and trauma that goes around sexual abuse/assault, and due to this, it's always important to be as safe and clear as possible. Not asking and not knowing are the same as a straight-out no.
3. At a party, two strangers are drunk and spend the night together. In the morning, one feels slightly violated/uncomfortable and vaguely remembers resisting further action, but figures they were drunk so they never confront anyone about it. In addition to this, they also vaguely remember agreeing to certain other acts, so they dismiss their feelings. The initiator in this situation notices the other's concerns, but assumes that since they were both drunk, the blame could be passed onto either. Is it abuse?
Answer: This is also abuse. Intoxication of either party does not excuse behavior in any cases.
Why is this important? This is important because a victim may blame themselves for this, and end up with difficult associations with alcohol and sex, along with a loss of self confidence, and paranoia. A person's comfort level and consent are the most important things during sexual activities.
4. Two strangers are slightly drunk at a party and spend the night together. In this case, they both remember consenting during the night however one argues to the other that neither of their consent counts due to intoxication. Neither of them regrets or is uncomfortable with the acts when they recall them later, they just want to discuss. Is it abuse?
Answer: This is not abuse. As long as consent is reached, both parties are safe to do as they please.
Why is this important? This is important because alcohol consumption does not restrict sex, nor does it turn any sexual acts into assault. As long as each party is comfortable and safe, and consent is reached, this situation is not in any way abusive.
Answer: This is also abuse. Intoxication of either party does not excuse behavior in any cases.
Why is this important? This is important because a victim may blame themselves for this, and end up with difficult associations with alcohol and sex, along with a loss of self confidence, and paranoia. A person's comfort level and consent are the most important things during sexual activities.
4. Two strangers are slightly drunk at a party and spend the night together. In this case, they both remember consenting during the night however one argues to the other that neither of their consent counts due to intoxication. Neither of them regrets or is uncomfortable with the acts when they recall them later, they just want to discuss. Is it abuse?
Answer: This is not abuse. As long as consent is reached, both parties are safe to do as they please.
Why is this important? This is important because alcohol consumption does not restrict sex, nor does it turn any sexual acts into assault. As long as each party is comfortable and safe, and consent is reached, this situation is not in any way abusive.
5. A teenage boy at the age of consent is a senior in high school. His friends throw him a birthday party and invite many people, including a very popular senior girl that many of his friends find attractive. She is at the age of consent and while there is a bit of drinking, nobody is very drunk. At a certain point in the night, the girl gathers many people around the boy and invites him to grope her as a birthday gift. He sees the people around him staring and does. Afterwords, he is unsure of how to feel and he asks his friend about it, who says that he should stop complaining and that he should consider himself "lucky". Is it abuse?
Answer: Of course this is abuse. Regardless of gender, peer pressuring or pressuring of any kind is abusive and negates ability to consent.
Why is this important? While many people assume that gender changes the rules for abuse, this is not true at all. In fact, this stigma is unhealthy for those who have been assaulted who do not identify as cis females, as they may be embarrassed and blame themselves for the abuse. In addition to this, consent is not reached if external pressures are involved. Again, heavy emphasis on safety and comfort for all parties.
Answer: Of course this is abuse. Regardless of gender, peer pressuring or pressuring of any kind is abusive and negates ability to consent.
Why is this important? While many people assume that gender changes the rules for abuse, this is not true at all. In fact, this stigma is unhealthy for those who have been assaulted who do not identify as cis females, as they may be embarrassed and blame themselves for the abuse. In addition to this, consent is not reached if external pressures are involved. Again, heavy emphasis on safety and comfort for all parties.
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